~I am defined by Christ~

Tomorrow I turn 20 years old.

Within the 20 years of my life, I have never been kissed. I’ve never gone on a date. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never held hands with a guy. I’ve never been alone with a guy.

The reason I bring this up is because it seems that a lot of people have a problem with the fact that I haven’t any of those things. I get hints dropped around me all the time: “Do you have a boyfriend?” “Oh that young man looks single.”

What bothers me even more is that most of the time, these hints are dropped by Christians. I would have thought that my brothers and sisters in Christ would be the ones to encourage and applaud me for not running around looking for a boyfriend.

It seems to me that, at my age, if I don’t have a boyfriend, people think something is wrong with me. They define me by whether or not I’m ‘in a relationship’.

I am not defined by my relationships. I am defined by Christ. The relationship I have with Him is far and above the most important relationship I can have. I put all my focus on that, not in looking for a ‘significant other’.

I don’t want a boyfriend just for the sake of having a boyfriend. I don’t need a ‘companion’ for the sake of not being ‘single’. I literally could not care less.

It’s not my job to run around looking for someone to be by my side. I know God has the right man for me already picked out, and I know God doesn’t need my help to bring us together. Right now it is my job to focus on Christ and serve Him with every part of me.

~Your 20 year old Pickle


15 thoughts on “~I am defined by Christ~

  1. I relate, I’m twenty-one and I get those same remarks. I quite like being single, in fact I prefer it. It bothers everyone else though including my Christian friends

  2. Great post!!! I totally relate to this!! I get a lot of comments as well, especially when I tell people I have never gone on a date. Oh, Happy early Birthday!!! <3 =)

  3. THANK YOU for saying this!!!

    As a 23 year old with a ton of already married friends and not once having a potential “suitor”, I get this a LOT. What’s worse is when people feel sorry for me. They seem to pity me. Um…excuse me? Whatever Disney may say, having a boyfriend or being married is not the source of eternal joy, people. God is obviously not ready for me to be married yet, and I’m sure not. Yes, I’d love to be married someday. But when God is ready for it. He knows what He’s doing. There’s no reason to pity me. I mean, seriously.

    People seem to think that’s the entire purpose of our being as young women, to find a husband. It really gets under my skin. Our purpose is to seek God and be content with the life He gives us.

    So thank you again for saying these words. I think more people need to hear them.

    And a big ol’ HAPPY (early) BIRTHDAY, my dear Pickle! I hope you have a blessed 20th year. <3

  4. *applauds loudly* I’m twenty-two and have had the same thing for yeeears. I hate it. It’s so wrong. There is nothing wrong with a person if they do not have a partner/boyfriend/girlfriend WHATEVER. Nothing. I actually really hate it that people are expected to? Good on you for putting your focus in the right places and ignoring the doubters. :’)

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